Trip Report 04/22
Confidently munching on 3.5 grams of mushrooms after swallowing two tabs of LSD, I almost miss the feeling of being anxious before a trip.
Back in the day, I sometimes worried about being unprepared for the experience, as if there was the possibility I could get irreversibly crushed by the psychedelic wave, and that my mind would fail to re-member itself after melting away from a manually induced altered state. In this context fear is a powerful emotion, something that jump starts that ancient instinctive fight or flight mode, aiding bio hacked sleepers, into wakeful beings once more. . . I miss those days.
Instead the feeling was more like sending out a single, and excitedly waiting for my meta physical friends to join in on the fun. It was the first time mixing the two substances and there was a point early on where I felt the two entheogens were awkwardly interacting with each other, like they were talking over one another instead of waiting for the right moment to express their uniqueness. Unease washed over me because it was unpleasant and I was about to enter a long journey with the two of them. I had to create a synergetic environment for the three of us so I sat up and focused my will power, like a mediator of sorts, and somehow managed to stabilize equilibrium between the two substances. I laid back down, closed my eyes, and brought my attention inwards to the closed eye visual show transpiring. I peered into the black as long tendril like arms wrapped in colourful, repeating patterns stretched down towards me. No doubt a mycelium web of interconnected data exchange was happening. Like being plugged into a new dimension via arteries that feed you cosmic energy from an ever flowing great stream of collective, transpersonal data. Deep in the black something occurred to me, I had completely conquered my fear of taking that deep dive within. I recall thinking, Oh yes we’re in Aaron’s mind now, and that was a good feeling. The fear of unpleasant mind distortions, demons or ego death was no longer present. Even without the ego intact we are reality creating machines and this truth was very obvious to me throughout the experience.
I could perceive a spiralling charcoal tempest before me made of shifting geometric cubes and dark smoke clouds. Each cubes face had moving images on it, animations or memories contained within them and they were also individually spinning. Some images I reconized as familiar others I did not. I realized I was at the nexus of ultimate liberty because I could choose to enter the world within any of these boxes. Enormous chunks of my earthly being seemed to be categorized on 2d surfaces that I could simply swipe away if I chose to. This phenomenon liberated me greatly, feeling that whatever stress I had in this life could easily be flipped away without any further thought. In fact the entirety of my life, the collected weight of experiences through the vehicle of Aaron’s body, could be simply put aside so that all that was left was pure awareness. My excitement towards this enfolding is certainly due to the mental machinations of an untethered spirit, but also deriving your sense of self from a point far deeper than the external world.
later in the trip a large number of the women I cared about or desired in my life made an energetic appearance. They called out to me showing me their true nature, and I felt they could see me too, no longer veiled by emotional masks, or even skin, they saw all my raw weaknesses and strengths. An apparition of a smooth perfectly curved body appeared before me. The owner of this beautifully sculpted wonder was unknown. Continuously it hovered in front of me, it’s owner nameless, it’s beauty timeless. She comfortably embodied all women, yet none of them at once, just a symbol beckoning my desire to make contact on this elegant belly surface.
Towards the end I remember feeling that I had essentially solved life, that my dreams and aspirations, had already been set in motion, and all that was left was to enjoy the ride as it took me into the next chapter of of my life. Perhaps I had jumped into a future version of myself, because I felt I had already accomplished everything I wanted at the time. I do not believe spirits are bound by the space time continuum the way our bodies are, therefore they can jump anywhere on the timeline, to carve out set paths most aligned with our deepest truths.
This is the way of Dreaming your reality awake.
